Is it just me, or is this election making us all a bit crazy? I know that, for my part, I’m obsessively checking RealClearPolitics several times every day (thanks a hell of a lot for that, Tom!!), memorizing their Electoral College counts, not to mention that on my commute home last night, I actually listened to the third debate instead of the Dodgers game.
Of course, that commute was made much longer by the residual traffic created by the Dodgers game, which is never fun.
It has been like this forever. In fact, I’m not actually sure that I can remember a time before this campaign started. Way back in March 2007, (over a year and a half before Entertainment Weekly said the same thing on their cover) I asked if this campaign was going to be the best reality TV show ever, and I think that it has ended up that way.
One small problem: I hate reality TV.
I want a new job. I want to go work for the Parents Television Council, and spend my time watching and cataloging sex & violence on prime-time television. This is what they do. They watch TV, looking for sex and violence, and when they find it, they tell the world. It’s awesome.
They’ve just released a study with this alarming headline:
Happily Never After: How Hollywood Favors Adultery and Promiscuity Over Marital Intimacy on Prime Time Broadcast Television
Here’s the deal: at the beginning of this TV season, they watched 207 hours of prime-time network television, painstakingly waiting for some kind of sexual reference by a character, and then thinking long, deep and hard about what kind of sexual reference it was.
So here’s the deal: apparently Hills twits Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag are planning a trip to entertain the U.S. troops in Iraq. Normally, a story like this would immediately be tossed into my “who gives a rats ass” pile and I’d go back to obsessing over the new Paul Westerberg & Hold Steady albums and wondering why more people aren’t watching The Middleman.
However, it struck me that Heidi & Spencer being allowed to go over and entertain the troops is actually the most compelling reason yet to immediately bring our boys back home from Iraq.
If Heidi & Spencer are going to Iraq, it means that we’ve been there for so long we’ve run out of actual, real entertainers for our troops.
Apparently, Lorne Michaels is worried that — because of a couple of cold opens spoofing the media’s kowtowing to Obama, Tina Fey’s funny but heartfelt “bitch is the new black” endorsement, and of course, an actual appearance by Mrs. Clinton her own self — people are perceiving Saturday Night Live as pro-Hillary.
This, naturally, brings up two related questions: 1) who still watches Saturday Night Live? 2) Are pro-Obama SNL viewers up in arms over the pro-Hillary bias?
My answers are: 1) me. 2) Not this one.
All of the pundits are pretty much saying that it looks like curtains for the Presidential Campaign of Mike Huckabee, the bass-playing, Bible-quoting Stephen Colbert-homeboy who is wayyyy behind John McCain in the delegate count.
So it pretty much seems to be a weird time to get insult added to injury, but that insult is coming in the form of Tom Scholz, an Obama supporter (like me!) who wrote the classic Boston song that Huckabee has been using on his campaign trail: “More Than A Feeling.” Scholz is pissed, and he wants it to stop.
To me, this is like that time Elvis sent the widely quoted “open email” to Bill Clinton after Clinton played “Heartbreak Hotel” on Arsenio Hall which ended with “didn’t you see me shaking hands with Nixon, stop playing my song.”
This, of course, is the place for the obligatory “Tom Scholz is still alive?” joke, but instead I’m going to do something perhaps even funnier: defend Mike Huckabee.