The High-Definition Problem

As our esteemed nation moves closer and closer to a high-definition world, certain perils are being exposed. Never mind that you’ll see every wrinkle and line. Don’t worry that pimples will be seen where flawless skin once reigned. There are real problems: the one industry that has arguably done more than any other to drive consumer acceptance of new technology is issuing warnings against HD:

Producers are taking steps to hide the imperfections. Some shots are lit differently, while some actors simply are not shot at certain angles, or are getting cosmetic surgery, or seeking expert grooming.

“The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director.

Ms. Daniels is also a skeptic. “I’m not 100 percent sure why anyone would want to see their porn in HD,” she said.

In other news, Sony has decided to go porn-free with its Blu-Ray product. Apparently mass-producing porn violates long-standing company policy. Sure, the decision will drive producers to other formats, but, hey, policy is policy.

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One Response to “The High-Definition Problem”


  1. […] The High-Definition Problem – Is essentially the 21st Century version of the same problem that happened with certain stars when the talking pictures were invented: some actors don’t translate, er, very well to the newer version of the medium that made them a star. Now playing across the nation: the horror of your local newscast in HD. […]