I’m a sucker for serialized content. Since I was kid, I have sought out continuing story lines. Naturally, this lead to a youth wasted watching soap operas — though I never went there, it strikes me that at one point in my history, the ultimate girl youth rebellion was to choose All My Children over your mother’s Days Of Our Lives. Soap operas offered a glimpse into a glamorous, dangerous world that contrasted sharply with daily reality.
There is much to be said for the power of escapism and even the skeptics find themselves entrenched in the lives of the Rachel and Julie and Trish and David and Raven and Cash and all the other characters. The writers of soap operas are masters at creating new scenarios, introducing new drama, while making sure that the casual viewer is able to catch up with the story within moments. If you’re away for years, sure, there will be some disorientation, but not enough to make you throw up your hands and say, “That’s it! I’m never watching Young and the Restless again.”
When I read an article about the effect of the Writer’s Guild strike on soap operas, I felt a bit sad. Of all the current programming, soaps require a large team of dedicated writers to keep things moving forward. Soaps also require audience. Historically, or, rather, since the dawn of television, soap operas have been geared toward stay-at-home mothers and wives. After all, in our fantasy world, men went off to earn money while women stayed home to clean and catch up on their stories.
Soap ratings have been declining forever now, and that’s to be expected. Their core audience is too busy to find an hour or two or three during the day. Video recorders and TiVos have helped, but daily hour-long programming is simply too much for today’s busy human. It’s not that we don’t want continuing storylines and complex relationships; it’s just that we cannot invest in the traditional “catch it now or miss it forever” world.
The Internet can save the soap opera, but the soap opera as we know it will have to change. An hour a day is too much. The new soap will be leaner, meaner, and multi-tracked. Also, multi-media. Rather than a single program that ties together many plots, the new soap opera might offer multiple ten-minute chunks that follow one or two threads. Viewers will be empowered to choose the direction they want (and show runners will be able to discover what those viewers are really seeking). Past and present programming will be available. Adjunct content will enhance the experience.
Yes, world, you will be able to follow the daily “All My ‘Lopers” at your own speed, in your own time. You will track Kirk as he wages his battle against the world’s solicitors, slowly uncovering a nefarious plot to sell him eternal youth…in exchange for his John Coltrane collection. Jim, after years of conservative jobs, has a pre mid-life crisis and joins a touring rock band. While wackiness ensues, the long tours (which amazingly allow him to always be home when he’s on camera) take a toll. Jim spends a year trying to find his rhythm again. He builds the world’s largest drum kit.
His long-suffering wife Roxanne, in retaliation, takes up with the Le Creuset (though she tries to persuade them that the redundant name is confusing)– joining what appears to be an innocent discussion group and evolving into an oven-to-tabletop revolutionary. She is frequently jailed for her actions, and the audience finds the combination of gritty prison scenes to be a charming foil for her innocent appearance. Roxanne fool the audience for years and when her true evil character is revealed, there is inevitable backlash. Then they all love her even more.
Tim, meanwhile, has found fame and fortune, yet suddenly realizes he isn’t happy with money and material things. He persuades his wife Jean to join an organic farming co-op. Jean is happy to toil in the fields, but finds herself longing for shopping trips in exotic lands. She begins to lead a double-life: caring for baby beets during the day, Shopper X by night. Her sudden penchant for sequined gowns creates tension with other co-op members. Sequins are found in the edamame and Jean teams up with Kirk to uncover the perpetrator of the crimes.
Tyson and Tory and Sherilyn, long in the shadows of their flamboyant older siblings, plot the coup to end all coups. They, unfortunately, forget about the power of RSS and all is revealed in time to stop the madness. The three never abandon their ambitions, but are eventually crushed by the knowledge that they cannot outwit their brilliant elders. Tyson does try an end run around his posse, only to be revealed as the man behind the sequin caper. His friends forgive him.
Kassia, of course, remains the show’s moral center. As the all the ‘lopers gather around her for advice and wise counsel, she continually remodels her house to accommodate their ever-changing needs. Over the years, her trademark apron is replaced by a new trademark apron, but she never changes, never grows old. Kassia, secretly, practices the ancient soap opera art of growing younger as the audience grows older.