We're Not Who You Think We Are
by Jim Connelly
Dear Lopy:
I just made a pilot for a big (OK, big-ish) TV Network, and it was rejected for being different from other TV shows. How can I get it picked up by another network?
Signed,
Hapless in Hollywood
Dear Hapless,
Here’s how to get your rejected pilot picked up by another network, in six easy steps.
by Jim Connelly
I first discovered Robert Christgau in the hallowed pages of Creem Magazine. It was nearly 30 years ago, and I was a music-crazy high school kid trying to come to terms with not just the two decades of rock ‘n’ roll I’d already missed, but this punk rock thing I was reading about, but not hearing. You gotta remember that, back in the day, not only was there no internet, there were no radio stations in Fresno that were playing anything more adventurous than The Cars, and everybody I knew were on a steady diet of Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Kiss and AC/DC. So I bought album after album without hearing a note; based entirely on what people wrote about them. That’s just what you did.
Punk Rock changed my life, for sure, but Creem was the catalyst. (And The Clash was the agent, but that’s another story.)
Since I spent every penny of disposable income on records, I didn’t have the money for a subscription, so I went to Thrifty’s Drugs (Tower Records wasn’t selling magazines yet) every day during the middle of every month because that’s when I noticed it would show up.
There was no doubt that it was just about my favorite thing in the universe. I devoured each issue, over and over again, month after month. And my favorite thing of alll was Christgau’s Consumer Guide.
by Jim Connelly
A couple of days ago, I discussed the announcement by the film download service Movielink that they had licensed software to allow downloaded films to be burnt to DVD. Of course, there was still the tiny little hurdle of getting the studios to go along with their plan. Maybe by the end of the year.
Enter CinemaNow. They announced yesterday that they have not only licensed DVD-burning software and gotten a studios to take a flyer on the concept, but they have actually started offering the service. Naturally, there are issues.
by Jim Connelly
Mention the 1960s and 1970s to broadcast TV execs, and you probably get sad sighs, as they reminisce dreamily about a time before the internet; before TiVo; before VHS; before original cable programming; before the remote control; when people would turn the TV to one single network and leave it there all night, watching the commercials and everything. It was the “Golden Age of TV,” for sure. Because TV got all of the gold.
Those days are gone, of course, but it doesn’t stop the broadcast networks from devising plans to once more grab, trap and have their way with a mass audience. Last week, ABC reportedly wanted to disable the fast-forward buttons on DVRs, and this week, CBS has announced their bold new marketing strategy: they are going to advertise on eggs.
by Jim Connelly
Some good news for those who are interested in legally downloading film: Movielink, one of the major services originally created to sell movie downloads, is going to allow consumers to burn their downloads to DVD.
Will this be the magic steriod that will kickstart the mostly-ignored film downloading service? Probably not, but it is a start.
by Jim Connelly
While you were wondering when you were going to get indicted for Tax Evasion because they couldn’t pin anything else on you, here’s what we were looking at:
by Jim Connelly
ABC, the network that has been at war with DVR owners for the past several yearrs may be going nuclear. According to at least one report, they are in talks with cable & satellite companies to disable the fast-forward button on future DVRs. Somehow, I doubt this is one of the features that Kirk had in mind when he wrote about his ideal DVR.
Even better, they claim that consumers will be OK with this, that people don’t actually want to fast-forward through the commercials. That the only reason they use DVRs is for the time-shifting aspects. And that we’d all be willing to put up with commercials to continue to time-shift, so there would be no backlash whatsoever.
Holy Jesus Frack! Do these people even use DVRs? There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin.
by Jim Connelly
In a bit of good news for censorship foes, a Federal judge in Denver has ruled that retailers who were “sanitizing” films by removing all of the good parts prior to selling them to a probably-witting niche were also violating copyright laws.
This case has been in motion since 2002, when CleanFlicks tried to twist the First Amendment by claiming that they had the right to do whatever they wanted to these films prior to sending them out to the public. The judge, however, saw right through that bullshit:
[Read more…] about Only Spielberg Can Mess With His Movies, Dammit!
by Jim Connelly
I never really got the whole Dave Chappelle thing. During the height of the frenzy, when he was selling skizillions of DVDs, I watched a few episodes, but it never really stuck with me the way that other sketch comedy has. Given the fact that plenty of people whose taste I respect like him, I’m perfectly willing to say that is a defect on my part. Just add it to the list.
However, I found his whole abandonment of his megastardom fascinating, and a bit refreshing. It seemed to be part and parcel of whatever anger fueled his comedy in the first place, and it actually made him more interesting to me.
Of course, what’s “interesting” to me was a goddamn nightmare for Comedy Central, who have plenty of experience dealing with badly-behaving geniuses (Matt and Trey!), but probably never had to deal with someone who just left all of the money on the table.
[Read more…] about Should Episodes of Chappelle’s Show Have Stayed Lost?
by Jim Connelly
While you were BBQing tequilia-marinated chicken during a 4th of July thunderstorm in Seattle, here’s what we were looking at: