Album: Siamese Dream
. . .
It must mean something, but I don’t exactly know what, that Billy Corgan got two of Siamese Dream’s most affecting ballads out of his fucked-up childhood, and each one is completely different from the other.
“Disarm,” the one about his abusive parents. is an absolutely anthemic piece of music, building inexorably towards its climax. But the other, “Spaceboy,” stays etherial and quiet throughout.
“Spaceboy” is a reference to Corgan’s younger brother, Jessie, who was born with mild cerebral palsy, Tourette’s syndrome, heart problems, and a chromosomal disorder, and whom Corgan had to take care of at a very young age. Jessie was
And so the verses are basically just Corgan and a deep-sounding acoustic guitar, and Chamberlain only comes in on the verses. As does a gently gliding mellotron, adding an extra touch of pathos to the chorus.
And Spaceboy, they’ll kill me
Before I’m dead and gone
And any way you choose me
It won’t be wrong
And anyway you choose me
We won’t belong
Even though it never picks up from the slow pace — not even when Corgan sings “we won’t belong” over and over again, hammering home their outsider status — “Spaceboy” gets over on its sheer loveliness, and of course, that mellotron, which is absolutely essential if your song has anything to do with space.
“Spaceboy” live in Chicago, 1993
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