Album: Desolation Boulevard (U.S.)
Year: 1973
. . .
The song that put the Sweet back on AM radio in the U.S. has one of the most iconic — and parodied — openings of any song ever recorded. Over a almost-rockabilly drumbeat from Mick Tucker, lead singer Brian Connolly campily checks in with the rest of his band, none of whom seemed to be too thrilled to be there, judging by their affectedly fey answers. It’s also the first hook in a song that is a veritable tackle box.
Hook #1 – The Intro & Guitar Riff
Are you ready, Steve?
(Uhhh-huh)
Andy?
(Yeaaaah)
Mick?
(Okaaay)
Alright, fellas, let’s gooooooooooooooooooo!
At which point, guitarist Andy Scott cranks out a tremendously tricksy riff that will be one of the anchors for yet another dynamite single written for The Sweet by Mike Chapman & Nicky Chinn. How dynamite? For one thing after an opening verse — with handclaps (!) — that sets everything up: apparently this is a dream Brian Connolly having because his baby is mean to him. Or something. It doesn’t really matter, because what follows is quite literally four different hooks that speed by in the wink of an eye, and one last one at the end.
Hook #2 – Pre-Pre-Chorus:
It’s bassist Steve Priest, singing in the same campy tone used to elevate “Block Buster!” but this time he’s got a few more lines, and so he cranks it up to ten, accompanied only by Mick Tucker’s drumbeat.
Oh–, I see a man at the back
As a matter of fact, his eyes are as red as a sun
And a girl in the corner, let no one ignore her
‘Cause she thinks she’s the passionate one
And quite naturally, the whole band stops just hear Priest belt out “‘Cause she thinks she’s the passionate one!!!!” which somehow beats his voice freakout at “as red as a sun.” And with a scream, Connolly takes the vocals over because it’s time for:
Hook #3 – Pre-Chorus
Oh, yeah, it was like lightning
Everybody was frightening
And the music was soothing
And they all started grooving
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Depending on what you read, “The Ballroom Blitz” is based upon an incident where The Sweet got chased off the stage at a gig in Scotland earlier that year. Which seems weird: at least in terms of their singles, they were one of the biggest bands in the U.K. at that point. All I can guess is that perhaps an early-1970s Scottish crowd was put out by The Sweet’s not conforming to gender stereotypes, assuming that they dressed the same way in concert as they did on Top of The Pops, and no matter how loud the guitar, how big the hook, that kind of shit just wasn’t going to be allowed. Not in 1973.
Hook #4 – The Actual Chorus
And the man at the back said, “Everyone attack”
And it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said, “Boy, I wanna warn ya”
“It’ll turn into a ballroom blitz”
Ironically, the chorus might be the least hooky of all of the hooks, except I do love the internal rhymes of “back” and “attack” and — even better — “corner” and “warn ya,” which is also just hilarious to me, mostly because if everyone is attacking, who is she even talking to? Which I understand, is bringing logic to a dreamscape, which finally breaks down to:
Hook #5 – The Post-Chorus
By this point, all they can do is scream “ballroom blitz” a few times before the song stops completely, starting back up to do it all over again, with some lyrical differences. And also after the second post-chorus, they let “ballroom blitz” echo a few times underneath the eternal handclaps, dropping down to a quick instrumental before jumping back into Hooks #2, 3 & 4, before one last chanting hook on the coda.
Hook #6 – The Coda
Oooooh
It’s, it’s a ballroom blitz
It’s, it’s a ballroom blitz
It’s, it’s a ballroom blitz
Yeahhhhhhhh, it’s a ballroom blitz
After that, it’s all Andy Scott, soloing over his tricksy riff until the fade.
Weirdly enough, during its first chart run, I was kinda lukewarm on “The Ballroom Blitz,” though over the decades I’ve come to appreciate the unrelenting unrelentingness of the whole thing, and have come to love it as a quintessential 70s single, though it’s not even close to my once and future favorite song by The Sweet. (Which will run tomorrow.)
“The Ballroom Blitz” seems to have a bit of a weird chart history: in the U.K., it was released in September of 1973, topping out at #2. It was also a massive hit around the world, as well, but in the U.S., it didn’t make the charts until the June of 1975, and I have no idea whether or not it was re-released at that time or something spurred the radio to play a 18-month-old single. Either way, it coming out in 1975 seems to match my memory of the time “Ballroom Blitz” was all over the radio, remaining on the Billboard singles chart for the rest of the year.
And it’s never really left: it was covered almost from the start, maybe most notably in Wayne’s World, and that opening will remain a sit-up-and-grin moment forever.
“The Ballroom Blitz” Official Promo Clip
Did you miss a Certain Song? Follow me on Twitter: @barefootjim
The Certain Songs Database
A filterable, searchable & sortable somewhat up to date database with links to every “Certain Song” post I’ve ever written.
Certain Songs Spotify playlist
(It’s recommended that you listen to this on Spotify as their embed only has 200 songs.)
Support “Certain Songs” with a donation on Patreon
Go to my Patreon page