It’s a special Valentines Day exclusive from Medialoper! There is nowhere else in the world where you can read this exact story!
Coming up later in this post, the story of my night of passion with Anna Nicole Smith!
But first . . .
This is an experiment. A terrible, cynical experiment. Not only have we been hit with wall-to-wall coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith death, it seems like we’ve been hit with wall-to-wall coverage bemoaning the wall-to-wall coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith death.
It all seems to go like this: it’s not really all that important in the scheme of things, but according to our web traffic logs, all y’all are going crazy for this shit, so we’re going to keep piling on the coverage until you want something else.
Just ahead — the true story of my night of passion with Anna Nicole Smith!
And while smart people like Tim Rutten and Keith Olbermann aren’t necessarily happy about letting the web traffic dictate their story choices, all I could think is “I gotta get me some of that.”
So, as an experiment to see if it will drive traffic to our site, as well as a means to driving traffic to our site, I’ve concocted this story. It has no other purpose.
Very very soon, the true story of my night of passion with Anna Nicole Smith!
Some of you reading this are going to be pissed off. That’s fine. Others are going to point out that I’m not the first to do this. That’s true. This isn’t about originality; it’s about whether or not you clicked because of that salacious headline.
Which, BTW, was the hardest thing — coming up with a headline that was:
- Full of the right words to drive traffic (“exclusive” “night of passion” “Anna Nicole Smith”).
- 100% true (as you will soon see).
- Safe for work.
Maybe my cynicism about all of this is dead wrong. Maybe traffic will actually be down from normal levels. That would be pretty cool, actually. It would mean that perhaps people are already sick of this story and we can all move on. But if not, please click on one of our sponsors as you leave, won’t you? Thanks!!
And now, the story of my night of passion with Anna Nicole Smith!
It never happened. I never met the woman. That’s the exclusive story of my night of passion with Anna Nicole Smith. And I’m sticking with it.