Just when you think that major record companies couldn’t get any meaner and any stupider, one of them proves you wrong. In this case, the record company is EMI, an acronym that apparently stands for Evil Motherfracking Idiots.
Apparently, a guy named Clayton Counts put together a mash-up that combined The Beatles Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band & The Beach Boys Pet Sounds. Why did he do it? On his website, he says that it was a work of satire, which is generally protected speech.
Whether or not you believe that, it is true that Mr. Counts didn’t make a single penny from his creation. And soon after word got out about it, he got a cease-and-desist from EMI. But with a twist!
Among the usual “stop this infringement right now!” blah blah blah comes this amazing bit of overreaction:
(c) provide Capitol with information regarding downloading and/or streaming of the Beachles Mash-Up Recordings and the Other Mash-Up Recordings to date, including but not limited to: (i) the dates on which those recordings were streamed and/or downloaded; (ii) the number of times those recordings were streamed and/or downloaded; and (iii) any and all available information regarding persons who streamed and/or downloaded those recordings;
That’s right. “Any and all available information.”
If you downloaded this mash-up, EMI wants to know who you are and where you live. EMI wants to know who you love and where you work. EMI wants to know the kind of food you eat and the kind of clothes you wear. EMI to know what kind of car you drive, and if you are a cat person or a dog person. Maybe you have a goldfish? EMI wants to know that.
If you downloaded this mash-up, EMI wants to know if you’re straight or gay. EMI wants to know what kinds of sexual positions you prefer, and how often you have sex. Did you ever have an abortion? EMI wants to know. EMI wants to know which religion you belong to. EMI wants to know your political beliefs and if you voted in the last election.
If you downloaded this mash-up, EMI wants to know what drugs you take, which alcoholic beverage you prefer, your favorite brand of cigarette. EMI wants to know if your parents are still alive, if you have any children yourself.
If you downloaded this mash-up, EMI wants to know the color of your eyes and whether you had that laser surgery. Or do you just wear contacts? EMI wants to know if you can play any musical instruments or if you can dance. EMI wants to know if you are left-brain or right-brain. EMI wants to know what your IQ is and what you scored on the SAT.
If you downloaded this mash-up, EMI wants to know how much money is in your bank account. EMI wants to know if you own any stocks or have a 401(k) or an IRA. EMI wants to know the name of your childhood best friend, and the name of your favorite sports team. EMI wants to know the moment that you were happiest and the moment of your deepest despair.
If you downloaded this mash-up, EMI wants to know all of your hopes and dreams, all of your fears and aspirations. EMI wants to know any and all available information about you.
If you downloaded this mash-up, I hope that it was worth it.
And if it was, EMI wants to know that, too.
The brilliant thing about this record is that it doesn’t even try to be brilliant. but by the end it does succeed at being brilliant. it’s so confusing to everybody that people don’t know how to properly classify it. most don’t even bother giving it a proper review because it doesn’t fit the mould of what they think a mash-up should be.
those who do review it are sometimes petty, but there are many rewards throughout this experiment. it’s not quite a mash-up, not quite a noise record, but still manages (barely) to be both. and it sure got everybody worked up. that’s the best part of it all.
The whole area of mashups is still grey, especially after the Grey album fiasco by EMI, so it is not surprising that there are such polarised views about it. I have examined it in more detail here if you are more interested in the subject. http://maths.blogthing.com/2006/11/25/the-great-mashup-debate/