You know what, music fans? You suck. You know how I know that? Because Gene Simmons thinks that you killed the record industry.
Look, when I was your age, a band like KISS would come out with an album, and it would get played on the radio, and then you would ride my bike down to Tower Records and buy the album.
Multiply that action by millions of kids — an army! — and boom! the guys in KISS were zillionaires. Just like that. It was all so simple. It didn’t even matter of those albums were mostly singles and filler, because that’s how the game was played.
And nobody ever played it better than KISS, who were — all things considered — an OK hard rock pop band with a handful of undeniable songs, but not all-time-greats. Not musically.
As marketers, however, they were the best ever. Not even Madonna comes close to the sheer marketing chops that KISS showed from day one. Until, that is, the market changed.
Well, actually, at first, the changing market worked well for KISS. Remember all of those “classic” albums they released in the 1970s? They got to release them again on CD in the 1980s!! And again on remastered CD in the 1990s!!
This was all great for Gene Simmons, because it was never about the music for Gene; rather, it was always about the money. If they inadvertently wrote a dozen or so classic songs en route towards that money, then great! Otherwise, just as long as those revenue streams kept flowing, it didn’t matter.
And it was all good.
Until the market changed again. You damn kids, what with your downloads and internets and such, you became the market. And then, do you know what happened?
You killed the record industry. The record industry that made Gene Simmons rich beyond anything that you’ll ever see. And he knows it. Boy, does he know it.
Gene – who starred in reality TV show ‘School of Rock’ – said: “The record industry is dead. It’s six feet underground and unfortunately the fans have done this. They’ve decided to download and file share. There is no record industry around so we’re going to wait until everybody settles down and becomes civilised. As soon as the record industry pops its head up we’ll record new material.”
It wasn’t record company greed, or an inability to come to terms with digital distribution, or the inability to nurture artists on a long-term basis when their first couple of albums tank (KISS would have been dropped long before Alive! in today’s climate), nope, none of those things mattered.
It was you. You! You and your stupid minds! Stupid! STUPID!!
And so you will be punished. No more KISS albums for you. Plenty of tours, TV shows, carnivals, coffins, ring tones, etc. But no more new music. Not now, maybe not ever. That oughta learn ya.
Gene wants you to sit for a while until you realize what you did. By killing the music industry, you made Gene Simmons slightly less rich than he otherwise would have been.
You bastards! No wonder he hates you.